I’ll be popping on a more constructive post shortly, but sometimes something catches your eye you just have to share.

In this instance, it’s the intro copy to an app for a certain well-known vendor of American college-wear. Before going any further, I strongly recommend you brace yourself. Whiplash from the inevitable cringe reflex is a real possibility. Ready? Deep breath. Here we go:

Hey, you made it! Thought you’d like something to look at while you party with your friends! This is a great way to live ******, and it’s pretty cool when you can take the brand with you on all of your crazy nights. You’re welcome! No, but really, check out what’s goin’ on–it’s good stuff. Feel free to take your time and really get into it; if you look good, no one will care if you’re late, right? So, here’s what you can expect: Check out our latest iconic photography, see what’s happening with our brands, the latest in ****** style, Flagship openings, along with where you can find a store near you. We also have excellent information about who we are as a family of brands. That should give you an idea of what we have to offer–okay, get your plaid on and make it happen!

Is this a spoof? Please tell me it’s an arch, post-modern spoof. It’s not a spoof, is it?

There is doubtless some kind of lesson in here about the importance of authenticity in your brand. But I think it pretty much speaks for itself.

Though, to be fair, it is ‘pretty cool when you can take the brand with you on all your crazy nights.”

I have literally no idea what that means.